


Mixed Signals

by Mordukai



Series: Terushima week 2017 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Established Relationship, Heavy Petting, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Some mentions of rape, but they're out of high school, college or university, discussions of non con, not that explicit, not that you can tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 07:44:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10680825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordukai/pseuds/Mordukai
Summary: Terushima knows what's expected of him in relationships, and he doesn't like it. He hoped it would be different with Suga, but the pattern starts again.





	Mixed Signals

**Author's Note:**

> For Terushimaweek2k17  
> Prompt: Angst & hurt, fluff & comfort.  
> I've basically gone with hurt/comfort

It's dark in the room. The curtains are drawn and the only light is coming from the TV, flickering as it shows a b rated horror film. Yuuji and Suga are cuddled up together under a blanket on the sofa. Suga is watching gleefully as the main character, a wimpy teenager, runs screaming from a monster. The special effects are terrible, but that's just another reason this is one of his favourite films. Yuuji, on the other hand, has his head buried against Suga's shoulder. He's gripping at the blanket tightly with both hands and he hasn't looked at the screen since the monster first appeared.

"Please," he mutters against Suga's shoulder as the teen onscreen lets out a piercing scream. "Let's put something else on.

Suga giggles and ruffles Yuuji's hair. He drags his fingers through the blonde on top, then over the fuzzy undercut. 

"It's just getting to the good bit," he says, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend's waist and tearing his eyes away from the screen for just long enough to drop a kiss onto Yuuji's head. 

Yuuji sits up, shielding his eyes with his hand.

"I'll make some more popcorn then," he says, sighing. There's a crunching sound from the TV, and another scream, and he winces, but he kisses Suga's cheek before standing up. He leans down to tuck the blanket round his boyfriend, still refusing to look at the TV screen. "Sugar ok or do you want salt this time?"

"Both," says Suga.

"You're gross."

He heads out to the kitchen, shutting the door behind him. The sounds from the TV are muffled now, and he feels a bit better. He's never liked horror films, and when he first met Suga he'd never have guessed that the other boy did either, but there's definitely more to Suga than meets the eye. He knows that now. But relationships are about compromise, he thinks, as he puts a pan on for the popcorn, and finds both the sugar and the salt from the cupboard.

By the time the corn has finished popping and Yuuji has added the sugar and salt, the movie is finished and the credits are rolling.

"Here you go," he says, as he pushes the living room door open. Suga has stretched out on the sofa, taking up all of the space. "Budge up."

"Make me," says Suga, reaching for the popcorn bowl. Yuuji hands it to him and then sits down, right on top of Suga's legs. "Ow," says Suga.

"Serves you right for stealing my spot." Yuuji sticks his tongue out at Suga. The flash of his piercing is too much for Suga, who dumps the bowl of popcorn on the floor and pulls Yuuji down for a kiss. The only comfortable position from this angle is for Yuuji to roll over and straddle Suga, so he does, one hand against the sofa to hold him up and the other against Suga's cheek. Their lips collide and Suga pushes for more, for a deeper kiss, for open mouths, for tongue. Yuuji complies, his tongue slipping into Suga's mouth, the piercing dragging a soft moan from the older boy. Yuuji can feel Suga's hands around his waist, sliding under his t-shirt, cold against his warm skin. He shivers, but it doesn't feel bad.

But kissing isn't enough. It's never enough. This is what Yuuji has found, throughout all of his relationships. Kissing is never enough and everyone always wants more. Suga is pulling at Yuuji's shirt, and when they break from the kiss, Yuuji can see the needy look in his eyes. He can feel Suga's cock through his sweatpants, hard now and pressing against him. He lets Suga pull of his t-shirt, sits still as Suga's hands roam over his chest and his back, stroking his skin. He knows he should reciprocate, that he's meant to take Suga's shirt off too, and he kind of wants to. He likes Suga's skin. He's seen him changing before, and he loves the moles speckling his back like constellations. He loves how smooth and soft Suga's skin looks. He wants to feel it. But he doesn't want more than that, and taking off Suga's shirt is basically giving consent. That's what it was like in his previous relationships, anyway.

Suga's hands are on Yuuji's waistband. His long fingers slide underneath it, to the material of Yuuji's boxers. Yuuji doesn't move, barely even breathes. He doesn't want this, but he doesn't know how to stop it. It's going to happen again. This relationship is going to be the same as the others. Suga's kissing his neck, his cheek, his forehead. 

And then he stops. 

"Hey," he says. His hands stop their groping, and he rests them on Yuuji's back. "Are you ok?"

Yuuji realises he's not even looking at him anymore, instead staring at the wall behind him. He makes himself focus on Suga's face. There's concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine," he manages to say, but Suga shakes his head.

"No, no you're not," he says. He sits up, pulling his legs out from underneath Yuuji. Yuuji scrambles off him, and grabs his t-shirt from where it's fallen to the floor. He pulls it back on quickly. Suga's going to tell him to leave. He couldn't give him what he wanted so he's going to break up with him. He wants to cry but he feels too numb. He hates that he's like this.

Suga pulls him back down to the sofa, so that he's sitting beside him again.

"We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with," he says. "If you're not ready, it's ok."

Yuuji lets out a bitter laugh. 

"It's not about being ready," he says. He thinks about getting up to leave, but something in the way Suga is looking at him makes him start to talk. "I just don't like that kind of thing, I'm sorry," he says. "I never have. And before you say I just need to try it," he says, glaring at Suga, "I have. This is the first time anyone's stopped and asked me, so I have tried it and I still don't like it."

"Wait," says Suga. "No one's asked for consent before?" He looks angry, and Yuuji suddenly feels very small.

"It's not like that," he says, looking down at his lap. "I know what you're thinking and it's not like that. I acted like I wanted it, because we were dating. It's not rape if the person doesn't say no."

"Yuuji, can I hug you?" Suga asks. The tremor in his voice surprises Yuuji. He nods, and Suga wraps his arms tightly around Yuuji, pulling him close. "I'm sorry about that person. People. Whoever it was. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," says Yuuji, embarrassed. "I just-" he pauses "-I just don't like letting people down, you know?"

"Yuuji, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do," says Suga. "If you don't want to do something ever, that's ok. If you don't want to do something sometimes, that's also ok. But please, just tell me. I couldn't bare it if I hurt you, I never want to hurt you."

Yuuji nods. 

"Don't tell anyone, please," he says quietly.

"Don't tell anyone what?"

"Don't tell them I don't like sex."

"I don't kiss and tell," says Suga. "Our friends wouldn't think less of you for it, though."

"I have a bit of a reputation to keep up," says Yuuji, sighing. "That's the problem, I guess. Everyone I've dated assumes I want it, because I look like the kind of guy who does."

Suga kisses him softly on the cheek.

"You look like the boy I'm in love with," he says softly.

Yuuji punches him on the shoulder.

"And you look like a soppy git," he says, laughing. "But I love you too. Also, the popcorn is getting cold."

"I'll make some more," says Suga, getting to his feet. "You can pick the next movie." He moves towards the door, but turns at the last moment. "Yuuji?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you exactly the way you are. If you ever want to talk about anything, I'll listen. I love you and I care about you and I just want you to be happy."

Yuuji throws a cushion at him. "Shut up and make me some popcorn," he says, hiding his blushing cheeks behind the blanket. Suga smiles at him. Yuuji can still see some sadness behind his eyes, and for a moment, he wonders if it's because of the sex, but he knows Suga better than that, and he realises that at some point he's going to have to talk about his previous relationships, now that Suga knows.

But not tonight. Tonight, they're going to cuddle, and eat popcorn. Yuuji picks out a movie from the pile of DVDs on the shelf. Most of them are films that he hopes Suga never subjects him to ever, full of jump scares and gore, but hidden under the horror films is a copy of the live action Cinderella, one of Yuuji's favourite films.

"I see you found the one movie that belongs to my sister rather than me," says Suga, when he comes back in to find Yuuji setting up Cinderella. 

"It's a good film," says Yuuji. 

"I know, I know," says Suga, sitting down beside him on the sofa and kissing him gently on the lips.

The two of them cuddle up together, and Yuuji runs his fingers through Suga's hair. 

"Are you sure you're ok with this?" he asks anxiously.

"I'm cuddling my beautiful, perfect boyfriend and I have a bowl of popcorn," says Suga. "I'm more than ok."

"Ok," says Yuuji. "Good. So am I."


End file.
